When Goethe was born, he was fat and white and bore a certain resemblance to a beetle larva. His parents said, “He’s a funny fat grub!” When he died, all Germany turned out to his funeral, and the priest was amazed to see so many native men. (The phrases in bold are major system code for 08.28.1749 and 03.22.1832, respectively — the dates of Goethe’s birth and death.)
As for me, when I was born I was so quiet and small that when the hospital janitor first saw me he didn’t realize I was an actual baby. He thought I was just some doll to pick up.